A fat kid’s antisocial dilemma

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August 8, 2013 by E.

This week, I’m in New York City for a business trip.  It’s a pretty awesome arrangement – our client’s office is in Times Square, so they’ve put us up in a $380 a night hotel right downtown.  I’m a block away from the culinary delight that is the Hell’s Kitchen neighborhood, working fairly short days, on a rather generous company meal reimbursement policy.  If I were here by myself, I’d be eating at all sorts of strange and exciting restaurants.  Within 2 blocks of my hotel, there’s Korean, Vietnamese, Japanese, Thai, Peruvian, Mexican, Russian, Jamaican, and South African.

Too bad my boss who’s on this job with me is one of the pickiest eaters ever.  She eats the following: chicken, cheese, pasta, potatoes, turkey, lettuce, rice, and tomatoes.  No pork, no seafood, nothing spicy, nothing exotic or tasty.  A perfectly nice person but OMG HOW DO YOU LIVE LIKE THAT?! DID YOUR PARENTS NOT LOVE YOU ENOUGH AS A CHILD?! not necessarily an ideal dining partner.

So the question is, how can I blow off my boss for dinner?  Can I fake a headache and sneak out for sushi?  Invent an imaginary friend to “meet for dinner” and go for spring rolls by myself?

I’ll take good food over company any day of the week.

I’ve decided this philosophy says two things about me:

1.) I’m what they call “food motivated”.  As in, I like to eat.  Almost nothing makes me happier than a good meal.  And when I’m not eating, I think about what I want to eat next.  If I didn’t have a serious incentive to stay at my current weight (i.e. that wedding dress I have to fit into in 6 months), and if running endorphins didn’t keep me sane, you can bet I’d look like and Irish sumo wrestler.

2.) I’m quite the introvert.  I have zero problem eating at a restaurant by myself.  Quite the opposite, really – I kind of love it. Give me a seat at the bar, a big glass of wine, and I’ll either make friends or content myself with people watching.  And let me tell you, the people watching in NYC tops just about anywhere else.

It’s not that I haven’t been eating good food, it’s just that I haven’t been eating earth-shattering food.  And as far as I’m concerned, the only reason to be in NYC is to eat earth-shattering food.

I think this is when the hashtag #firstworldproblems would be inappropriately appropriate.

Le sigh.